Tag Archives: scary

You Can Thank The Spider For My Paranoia

Ok, so today at around 7:30 I heard the shriek.

Slowly, people started to run out of the classroom.  I didn’t realize what was happening until it was crawling under my desk.

A huge, hairy spider.  Running under my chair.

Of all the people in the room, it chooses to run under my chair.  ME.  The one with the arachnophobia.  Do you remember the spider video from an earlier post?  Well, if you don’t, here it is:

That’s sort of what pushed me over the edge.

Luckily, Mr. Hill squished the spider.  Under my chair.

My chair.

I didn’t let my feet touch the ground for the rest of the period.

Tagged , , , , , , , , , , ,

Rise of the Planet of the Apes

This movie gets the award for most predicting movie of the year.

Let’s go through what happens.


The planet of the apes, it, uh, rises.

And that’s the movie in a nutshell.  Of course, the special effects were good, and it was a so-so plot.  Just…


I leave you with a beautiful nature scene.


Hahahahahahahaha!  Got you!

Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , ,

I Steal Pond Water From a Demon

We have a neighbor named Grumpy Gus.

That’s not her real name, but I will call her that for her privacy.

Grumpy Gus is the kind of neighbor who gets angry about your leaves on her lawn.  The kind of neighbor you skip on halloween.  The kind of neighbor that has a security camera on her door because she thinks all kids are evil and want to egg her house.


This year for the science fair, I did a project on algae.  It was a good project, but it had one problem.  I needed a control.  In my case, I needed pond water.

Your probably thinking:  What does this have to do with Grumpy Gus?

Grumpy Gus has a pond in her front yard.  And I needed pond water.

So, at 8 o’clock p.m., I stole pond water from a demon.  (Gus)

I snuck over to her yard, being as quiet as possible.  Then, when I reached her house, I army-crawled over to her little pond.  I had a 5-cup container in my hand, and that made the crawling really hard.

Now, let me tell you about this pond.  Its about 5 by 4 feet, and has fake plastic lilies floating around in it.  I assume that the lilies are some sort of explosive device that activates on a motion sensor, and the pond is probably home to a school of Piranhas.

It took a while of mental encouragement, but I finally was able to stick my hand in the pond.

As I ran away, I swear I saw the light turning on in one of the rooms.

I’ve never run faster.

Tagged , , , , , , , , , ,

The Scariest Video You Will Ever See

Watch this video.  If you dare.

I now have a tendency to look up at the ceiling every minute or so.

Tagged , , , , , , , , , ,

Two Weirdos In a SUV Like My Poop Bag

So today I was walking my dog.

Yes, the wiener dog.  But that’s not the point.

The worst part of walking a dog is the poop.  You’ve got to pick it up, even if you don’t want to.  And then you’ve got to carry it around until you get home or find a trashcan.  Well, I’ve found a simple soloution to this problem: attach the poop-bag to the dog’s collar.

Maybe not so good for the dog, but hey, it works.


So I was walking my dog when all of the sudden a silver 99′ Dodge SUV pulls around the corner.  The guy whose driving the car is about 68, and he’s looking at me like catfish looks at a peice of bacon.  (Man, I’m good at analogies!)  So basically, he’s looking at me like a maniac.

I thought it was strange, but it got even stranger.  He turned around and pulled up in front of me, exept now I didn’t see him, I saw his wife.

She was also looking at me like a maniac.

I was getting ready to run when she rolled down the window.  She looked very exited.  Her eyes were large.  Freakishly large.

And this is what she says:

“She’s carryin’ her own poop bag!”

She says “poop” with a little popping sound at the end.

“Uhhh…Yes she is, I tho-”

I don’t have time to finish my sentence, because they’re already driving away like a moose drives a wagon.  (I’m really good at these analogies)

So basically, I had a pretty weird Tuesday.

Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Why I’m Afraid Of The Toilet

I am afraid of the toilet.


It comes down to this: spiders.  As disturbing as it is, I worry that a spider lives in my toilet.

I know. Freaky.

And what if, the spider decides to go for a little stroll, and accidentally ends up in my intestines?  Even worse, what if that spider was pregnant?

A pregnant spider.  In my intestines.  Ready to give birth to five hundred babies that will feast on my organs.

I am not looking forward to that day.

Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
%d bloggers like this: