Category Archives: Apocalypse

We’re Back to the Ice Cream of the Present

 

What?

Dippin’ Dots, the ice cream of the future, filed for bankruptcy today.

Kind of ironic.  The ice cream of the future has no future.

Ha.

Goodnight everybody.

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We Must Keep the Vegetables Happy

I was at the store today when I heard thunder.

It was then followed by a fine mist that fell on to the rows of vegetables.

This made me wonder.  Why do we have to make a noise to simulate a real rain storm?  It doesn’t keep the vegetables any fresher.  Then came the realization that would change my views of the earth forever.

The vegetables asked for noise.

That’s why ever grocery store around the nation makes a fake thunder noise when misting their veggies.

So the produce won’t be angry.

I’m not going to sleep tonight.

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What to do incase of an Earthquake

Very funny instructional video of what to do if an earthquake happens.

http://www.richardfenwick.com/earthquake.html

P.S. I didn’t make this video.

 

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You Can Thank The Spider For My Paranoia

Ok, so today at around 7:30 I heard the shriek.

Slowly, people started to run out of the classroom.  I didn’t realize what was happening until it was crawling under my desk.

A huge, hairy spider.  Running under my chair.

Of all the people in the room, it chooses to run under my chair.  ME.  The one with the arachnophobia.  Do you remember the spider video from an earlier post?  Well, if you don’t, here it is:

That’s sort of what pushed me over the edge.

Luckily, Mr. Hill squished the spider.  Under my chair.

My chair.

I didn’t let my feet touch the ground for the rest of the period.

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Do Not Eat That Melon

Yes, a post about melons.

But a serious post.

There have already been 16 deaths concerning “bad” melons.

Cantaloupes, to be precise.

What I’m trying to say is:

Don’t eat cantaloupe while reading my blog.  I value my viewers.  But for the people who don’t read my blog…

Who wants cantaloupe?

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Why am I still eating Cheerios?

Just a quick question: am I dead?

Saturday morning, I was eating cereal.

It was the kind of cereal that’s “high in fiber” and “low in taste.”  Bland.  Very Bland.  There is no “cheer” in Cheerios.  Only blandness.  Very bland blandness.

Anyways.

I was eating my blandios when I realized something.  Isn’t it the 21st?  The day the world ends?  The day we all die?  The day life is no more?

So I checked the calendar.

Yep. Saturday, the 21st, the day Jibbles ate his blandios, and nothing else.  No apocalypse.  No destruction.  No boom.

False alarm.

Guess we’ll have to wait for December of next year.

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