We have a neighbor named Grumpy Gus.
That’s not her real name, but I will call her that for her privacy.
Grumpy Gus is the kind of neighbor who gets angry about your leaves on her lawn. The kind of neighbor you skip on halloween. The kind of neighbor that has a security camera on her door because she thinks all kids are evil and want to egg her house.
This year for the science fair, I did a project on algae. It was a good project, but it had one problem. I needed a control. In my case, I needed pond water.
Your probably thinking: What does this have to do with Grumpy Gus?
Grumpy Gus has a pond in her front yard. And I needed pond water.
So, at 8 o’clock p.m., I stole pond water from a demon. (Gus)
I snuck over to her yard, being as quiet as possible. Then, when I reached her house, I army-crawled over to her little pond. I had a 5-cup container in my hand, and that made the crawling really hard.
Now, let me tell you about this pond. Its about 5 by 4 feet, and has fake plastic lilies floating around in it. I assume that the lilies are some sort of explosive device that activates on a motion sensor, and the pond is probably home to a school of Piranhas.
It took a while of mental encouragement, but I finally was able to stick my hand in the pond.
As I ran away, I swear I saw the light turning on in one of the rooms.
I’ve never run faster.